March Madness and Our Two Month-iversary

It's hard to believe, but we are commemorating two months since Team Kilday descended upon Cambodia on Jan. 24.  Here's the latest on our zany Southeast Asian adventure:

1.  You may have read about our not-so-friendly identity thief -- the mischievous stranger who fought so valiantly to extract funds from our bank accounts back home starting in mid-February.  Well, it got much worse before it got better.  After numerous fraudulent transactions in two U.S. bank accounts (all of which were promptly intercepted and stopped, thank you very much), our "friend" moved on to fraudulent iPhone purchases on a Kilday Amazon account and then tried to hit our credit card.  It was absolute chaos. Many late nights, and the wee hours of many mornings, were spent in a cat-and-mouse game with a crook -- changing dozens of passwords, reversing and/or cancelling fraudulent transactions, setting up new accounts, talking with fraud investigators, corresponding with credit reporting agencies, filing online police reports, canceling accounts, setting up rules for automatic notifications for future transactions, expectantly ordering new credit cards (and praying for prompt delivery through somewhat perilous delivery channels) -- you get the frenzied picture.   But we are happy to report that this unfortunate chapter appears to be behind us, and with absolutely zero actual harm done and zero apparent benefit to the swindler.  (Whew!)

2.  The moral of this story is -- don't mess with Thais.  She will outwork you, outsmart you, and mess you up.  She will leave you wishing you had never picked on someone her size.  She is relentless.  Please remind me to stay on her good side. 

3.  No, seriously.  Please remind me. 

4.  Now, I am generally a very happy person.  This journey into the unknown in a new country has been exhilarating for me most of the time.  I have enjoyed the sense of adventure and the challenges that have come with each new day.  It has been a thrill ride.  But I will confess that I hit a wall when we were being attacked in the cyber wallet.  It was deeply unsettling.  I am a control freak, and this was starting to rock my world.  I briefly wanted to just go home, where I could talk with banks and local Austin law enforcement personnel in person, and during my waking hours.  Trying to manage all of this from here was close to impossible.  I was rattled.  We both were.  But then something surprising happened.  We had initially kept this battle private from most of our work colleagues, but I eventually decided to share what was going on with the whole team during our time of daily prayer at work.  (What?  Your office doesn't have a time of daily prayer?)  The team listened to our story of hacks, fraud, and theft, with grave concern.  As I was finishing the story, I mentioned that so far, thankfully, our thief had not yet succeeded in stealing a single penny.  Well, you would've thought we had won the lottery.  The room literally erupted into jubilant cheers.  Everyone was smiling and cheering.  I was sharing what I thought was a troubling and stressful story.  But to my surprise, it turned into a celebration.  One of our new friends endearingly stated, in his second language, "Hacker think he so very clever, but Doug and Thais even more clever!"  They were all so happy for us, and so proud that we had managed to stay a step ahead.  I was the last to know it, but my story of worry was a victory speech.  What a lovely re-set on my pathetic and inwardly-focused self-pity.  Yes, we were having to fight an injustice, but -- hello! -- welcome to how the rest of the world lives.  Only we were actually managing to avoid any real harm.  And what a humbling reminder that I constantly live with a spoiled, inwardly-focused, and first-world perspective.  

5.  My takeaways:  Stop complaining.  Be grateful.  Count your blessings.  Notice your blessings.  Remember who is in control.  Recognize that it's not me.  Stop worrying so much about storing up and protecting those "treasures on earth."  They don't ultimately matter.  Trust in the one who is in control.  And get back to work. Because what we are doing here actually does matter -- to real people and to God.  Let's get after it. 

The sun rises over the Mekong River in Phnom Penh.

6.  Speaking of work, the job is fascinating and fun, heartbreaking and exhilarating, rewarding and challenging.  We wish we could tell you all about it.  But since we work under strict confidentiality obligations (for obvious reasons), we can't talk specifically about the work we are doing.  Just send lots of prayers for lots of people, and that should cover it. If you want to get a sense of what IJM is all about, we have updated the "Our Year with IJM" page, to include a follow-up to the video about IJM's work.  The second video tells the story of an actual rescue operation in Ghana that took place on the day we departed for Cambodia.  The rescue was for some of the young boys on Lake Volta that were featured in the first video, which many of you saw last Fall.  Good to see IJM's work leading to successful rescues for many people in need.  Please continue to pray for more of this, and an end to slavery in all corners of the world. 

7.  We can tell you this:  Thais works on the main floor, and I work one floor above.  In a typical day, we don't spend much time together at the office.  We catch a tuk tuk together in the morning around 8:15 for a 5-minute ride to the office, and then we go our separate ways.  We are in the same room together at 11:30 when the team gathers daily.  (We have each led devotions twice.)  We have lunch together almost every day -- a pretty sweet perk of this IJM adventure, and one that we will sorely miss when the year is done.  Then we catch a tuk tuk back "home" when the day is done. 

Just in case you need to reach us.  Or in case you need to know how to write our names in Khmer. 

8.  About a month ago, we were pleased to hire a wonderful helper who meets the kids at their bus stop every day at 3:30 and stays with them until around 5:30 or 6:00 when we arrive home.  Her name is Theara, and she is already part of the family.  She speaks English very well, she cooks dinner for us twice a week, and she has introduced us to some wonderful Khmer cooking.  She has a morning job at one of the best preschools in Phnom Penh, and she had previously worked for many years as a nanny for an expat family from France in the afternoon.  That family no longer needed her help, and we did.  So this worked out wonderfully well for everyone.  Very thankful for Theara, and for IJM's patience as we worked to find this solution.

9.  Rice.  There is so much rice.  Rice is available at every meal.  Rice on its own, rice on the side, rice with vegetables, rice with curry sauce, fried rice, rice noodles, rice with stir-fry, rice paper spring rolls, sticky rice dessert.  The list is never-ending.  Rice provides more than one fifth of the calories consumed worldwide by humans.  Many of those rice-eating humans are here.  The Khmer word for the verb "to eat" (yam bai) translated literally, means "to eat rice."   We are loving the rice.  But we will likely take a short break from it when we get back home. 

10.  It is a truly bizarre and mind-blowing political season here.  Off the charts.  Cambodia right now is Donald Trump news on steroids, but without the checks and balances.  We wish we could share all the details.  This recent article will help you understand why we won't be providing you with any commentary,  For those who are curious, I will add some recent articles from the local paper on the "Resources" page.  (There will not be a test, so no obligation.) 

11.  Add the First Amendment to the long list of things we have taken for granted.   And checks and balances too. 

12.  Mosquitoes.  I've always been a mosquito magnet.  Thais and I will go for a walk in Austin, and I'll outscore her twenty mosquito bites to zero.  But it seems that Southeast Asian mosquitoes have different palates.  Let's just say that the scorecard has been reversed here, and Asian mosquitoes are quite fond of my bride.  I almost never use bug spray here, and two months have brought me just three mosquito bites.  Thais has to spray down every day, and they still prefer her over me.  (I'll enjoy this while I can.) 

13.  Haircuts are different here.  Cheap too -- three cuts for a total of just two bucks.  Not bad! 

14.  Life here is organized differently.  Personal relationships and practical experience are of paramount importance.  We have been amazed by the incredible memories of so many people we have met here.  They don't forget anything.  I buy mangoes from the same lady at the bustling BKK market every Saturday morning.  There are many hundreds of people there, and probably twenty fruit vendors who sell mangoes.  I always go to the same place.  She spots me ten feet away, and she knows exactly what I want -- product and quantity.  She also remembers the price we negotiated on the day of my first purchase. and she starts bagging up her best mangoes for me before I say a word.  Same thing with the lady at the market who sells flowers.  She always recognizes me, and she has enjoyed teaching us how to open and unfold a Cambodian lotus flower.  Tuk tuk drivers know our routines and instantly know where we are going, whether it's work, home, church, whatever -- we just hop in and they remember.  Once we hopped into a tuk tuk with a driver who had not seen us for several weeks, and he took us "home" to the temporary apartment where we had lived during our first ten days in the country.  He had not given us a ride anywhere for six weeks, but he remembered our late January destination without us saying a word.  (And now he knows the location of our apartment, and we'll never have to tell him again.)  Pretty incredible.  Or it could be that I am a giant here. 

15.  Our eldest is now managing local transportation without us.  On Thursday night she ventured out to a church youth group gathering.  This morning she got up early to go with friends to volunteer at a school carnival.  This afternoon she is at the mall to see a movie.  All three outings have involved tuk tuk rides with other kids from her school -- from Sweden, India, China, and Singapore.  Three months ago we never would have dreamed that we would be sending one of our kids out into this town with other kids and non-English speaking drivers we don't know, and without a parent.  A whole lot of growth on both sides, I suppose! 

16.  We are looking forward to seeing family and close friends here in the coming months.  It has been fun to plan for hosting visitors and showing them where we live and work.  We also look forward to exploring what's out there beyond Phnom Penh.  First up will be Thais' parents and a visit to the amazing temples around Siem Reap.  [Note:  we will not be requesting reimbursement out of donated funds for our travels outside the city.  Excursions beyond Phnom Penh will be entirely on us.]

There's your sweet sixteen -- more than enough for today.  God bless you all, and thank you for following Kilday Family Adventure v.2017!  We are so grateful for your prayers and support!

- Doug

Stepping Into Cambodia's Nightmare

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

— George Santayana, "The Life of Reason" (1905)

A view from the inside of Cambodia's Security Prison S-21, where 17,000-20,000 people were held and brutally tortured before being murdered at the Killing Fields.  The S-21 Prison is now the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, documenting the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge era (1975-1979).

If you've ever watched Schindler's List, you know the sensation.  Amazing movie, right?  Incredibly well done.  There is a sense of duty around watching it.  Because we should not forget the atrocities of the past.  We must never forget.  To learn from history, we need to know it and understand it.  We need to learn how the events of our past impacted real people.  We need to see faces and experience some of the suffering, even if our suffering only occurs vicariously.  I'm glad I saw Schindler's List.  But I needed to be in the right frame of mind to watch it.  And having seen the film once, I very seriously doubt that I will ever watch it again.

Those familiar sensations have resurfaced for us around one of the most famous and tragic places in all of Cambodia -- the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum.  This facility was an ordinary high school before 1975.  But when Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge rolled into Phnom Penh in April of that year, the school was converted into the notorious Security Prison 21 ("S-21") and was thereafter used as a place of brutal torture, horrific suffering, and death.  The museum is just a 10-minute walk from our apartment, and it seems to be on every "must see/must do" list that we have found.  Despite the historical and cultural significance of this place, it has been difficult to muster up the will to go and learn the stories of the people who suffered and died there.

During the Khmer Rouge era (1975-1979), approximately two million people were brutally murdered in Cambodia.  To put it in perspective, that was about a fourth of the population of the entire country, and more than 1,400 murders per day for nearly four years.  Virtually every Cambodian family that lived in the 1970s was devastated in one way or another.  The long-lasting trauma of this period on the people of this nation is difficult to overstate.  For those outside of Cambodia, it is nearly impossible to comprehend.

S-21 is the most famous security prison from the Khmer Rouge era, but it is only one of 150 throughout Cambodia. 

I finally made my way to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum this past Wednesday.  Our office was closed for International Women's Day, but the kids were still in school.  (Yeah, they didn't understand that either.)  Thais and I had talked about using this rare day away from work without kids to tour the museum together.  But that was before we knew the reason for the holiday.  Thais wisely foresaw that visiting a genocide museum might not be the best way to feel celebrated on Women's Day, and she chose to postpone her visit for another time.  We found Thais a cup of coffee, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a well-deserved four-dollar pedicure.  She encouraged me to make a solo trip to scout out the museum if I was ready.  I thought I was. 

As I walked through these haunted corridors, I felt the urge to escape, to turn away.  I saw the on-site burial ground.  I saw the names of a staggering number of victims in the memorial garden.  I saw many of their faces, before and after they were tortured.  The commandant of the S-21 prison, Kaing Guek Eav (a/k/a "Duch") kept meticulous records of all activities there, including photographs of victims, "confessions" given by victims, and detailed interrogation and torture manuals.  Much of this evidence survived the liberation of the prison in 1979, despite attempts to destroy it.  A substantial sampling is available for public viewing, along with written translations and audio tours in multiple languages.  I saw implements of torture.  I walked through dozens of former classrooms carved into tiny, crude cells separated by poorly constructed brick walls.  I touched shackles, chains, and miles of barbed wire, installed to prevent the victims from jumping to end their suffering.  I heard actual testimony (with English translation) from trials at the Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia (the ECCC, commonly known as the Khmer Rouge Tribunal).  I saw racks filled with human skulls.  The museum is, unfortunately, comprehensive and very well done. 

As I left the exhibit halls, I was overwhelmed with grief -- for the victims and for all that this country has endured.  Tears were right on the surface, and they would have flowed freely had I been in a private place.  I shuddered at the depravity of it all. 

I was desperate for some hope.  I found a small dose of it on my way out of the facility. 

Bou Meng, survivor of genocide and torture.  In the foreground is a photo showing the seven survivors of the S-21 prison.  Mr. Meng is third from the right. 

Of the 17,000 people who were held and tortured at S-21, only seven survived.  Of those, only three are still alive.  I had the honor and privilege of meeting one of them -- Mr. Bou Meng.  Mr. Meng was there to sign copies of a book written about his life.  I gladly bought a copy, shook his hand, and spoke with him.  He was warm, welcoming, and gracious.  He insisted that I sit with him for a photo.   He wouldn't take no for an answer.

Hope.

I devoured Mr. Meng's biography.  I learned that the Khmer Rouge murdered his wife at the Killing Fields, and that his children likely died of starvation.  He was tortured with electric wires and bamboo sticks.  He was caged like an animal in a tiny cell, with only a small ammunition can for a toilet.  He lost almost everything and wished desperately for his own death.  But his life was spared because he had a talent for painting.  The Khmer Rouge used him to paint propaganda portraits of Pol Pot and other leaders of the party.  A life saved by art. 

Mr. Meng lived, and he was able to help his nation gain some closure and a dose of justice.  He testified at the Khmer Rouge Tribunal in the trial of Mr. Kaing Guek Eav ("Duch"), the commandant for S-21.  Duch was later sentenced to life imprisonment for crimes against humanity.  Mr. Meng has helped his country remember and honor its past by using his skills as an artist to depict what so many of his countrymen suffered at S-21.  And he helped me walk away from this place with some hope.

Please continue to pray for Cambodia and its people -- for healing and redeeming love, for justice and peace, and for joy and hope.  Please also pray for Mr. Meng, who continues on his own road to restoration.  Thank you, and God bless you all.

- Doug

Cambodia's Royal Palace

In the heart of Phnom Penh, where the mighty Mekong River meets the Tonle Sap, the majestic Royal Palace sparkles, haunting the Riverfront area with a sense of elegance, mystery and grandeur.  The landscaped lawns and gardens act as the overworked lungs of the central city – a welcome respite from the miles and miles of concrete, steel, dust, and exhaust fumes to the north, west, and south. 

For centuries (802 – 1431, A.D.), the seat of power for the Khmer Empire was the ancient city of Angkor, well known today for its incredible temples (including Angkor Wat) near what is now Siem Reap.  After the fall of Angkor in 1431, the seat of power briefly moved to Phnom Penh (then under a different name) before relocating to Basan, Longvek, and Oudong. 

In the 1800s, Phnom Penh once again became the capital city.  Cambodia’s royal family has called this beautiful place home since 1866, with the tragic exception of the period during and after the reign of the Khmer Rouge. 

Thais and I recently paid a visit.  Here is our photo tour.

The Throne Room -- site of coronations, royal weddings, and diplomatic and other official meetings.  The first Throne Room on this site was built in 1869-1870, but was later demolished in 1915.  The current Throne Room was built in 1917.  Unfortunately, photos are not allowed inside the Throne Room.

"Nagas" (serpents) are a symbol of prosperity.  They represent the land and water of the Khmer.  This naga makes its presence known from the top steps of the Throne Room.  Behind it is the Moonlight Pavilion, which is a venue for the Royal Dancers and for state and royal banquets.  It is also used for the King to address crowds on the Royal Palace grounds. 

The Hor Samran Phirun -- a royal waiting area where the King waits before mounting an elephant for a royal procession.  The porch that you see on the right side is the height of an elephant's back, allowing the King to step directly onto the elephant.  (Why don't we have one of these at the White House?  It does seem bigly.)

Cambodians traditionally greet one another with palms together, as though praying, and with a slight bow.  This is called Som Pas.  This is a statue of a kneeling woman showing the Som Pas, with the "Silver Pagoda" behind her.   The Silver Pagoda is named for its 5,329 silver tiles covering the entire floor.  Each tile weighs 2 & 1/2 pounds (1.125 kg) -- a total of more than 13,300 pounds of pure silver on the floor.  Inside the Silver Pagoda is an Emerald Budha and a 90 kg (200 lb.) golden standing Budha encrusted with 2,086 diamonds.  Unfortunately, photos are not allowed inside the Silver Pagoda. 

Nagas on the top of the Phocani Pavilion, which was originally constructed as a classical dance theater.  Now it is used for royal receptions and meetings. 

A rooftop naga on the Phochani Pavilion, with a pigeon keeping close watch.

Who is that behind the mask?

The spire of the Silver Pagoda, reflected in a pond.

Som Pas in the foreground, with the Silver Pagoda behind. 

Getting My Game Face (Back) On. Amen.

Well, it has been a challenging week. At work, our team has been working diligently on a very important case, and has run into some disappointing delays. We pray together daily for confidence in God’s timing, but it is a struggle. On the home front, we’ve encountered homesickness and some quite normal (but not particularly welcome) feelings of adjustment. And on the (way back) home front in Austin, we’ve learned our email and our bank account were hacked, and someone with a freedom project of their own tried to liberate all the funds from our Austin checking account. The bank has been very helpful restoring funds and helping us ensure new precautions are in place, but many late nights were spent resetting passwords, changing accounts, and negotiating with fraud personnel on the other side of the ocean. In case you were wondering, this isn’t as much fun as spending late nights watching old West Wing episodes on our DVD player. (We’ve tried both this month – take our word for it.) Add a few of the hormonal delights one might expect from the mid-forties set, and it was…yes, a challenging week.

Here is the good news – God’s mercies are fresh every day. I read this in the blog of an amazing new friend of ours now with IJM in Ghana. Actually, I was in bed feeling sorry for myself while I read from her about God’s fresh mercies. (Spoiler alert: among other things, they got actual THANK YOU notes from their kids – we haven’t, and aren’t holding our breath. Spoiler alert #2: she is grateful for a washing machine. I’m feeling like a heel, because I’ve had one all along.)  After sifting through my shame at not seeing the mercies more quickly, and pondering on this for a day or two, I am finally working my way to seeing, and being grateful for, where God’s mercy has been in our lives this week. Here is what I’ve got so far:

1) Without help from my parents in Austin and God’s gift to my mother of superhuman attention to detail, I would not have known about the trouble with my bank account in time to stop the fraudulent payments from being made. I have never paid as much attention to my bank account as my mother has in the last month. Without the interest and kindness of my techno-savvy brother, I wouldn’t have known how to fix my email. Blessings.

2) Without an IJM friend showing me how to get phone credit on Skype – the VERY day this all broke – I would not have had a way to call my bank internationally and actually begin to work this out with a live person. Blessings.

3) Without friends and family praying for me when I was too stuck to pray for myself, I would have absolutely withered. While all of this has been going on, I have felt the power of prayer. Truly. I have friends I can text in the middle of the night (ok, their day!) and know that they will pray while I sleep. What an amazing gift! I hit a wave of despair this week and a reminder for a Session meeting popped up on my phone – a reminder to reach out to trusted, faithful people and ask for prayer. And truly, within hours, I felt lighter. I had several moments this week when I thought about an old friend, and within the hour, a message from them popped up on my WhatsApp, Facebook, or email. As marginal as I am in the grand scheme of life, intercessory prayer, when I didn’t have the words or the courage to pray for myself, helped me this week. Blessings. Mercies.

4) On a much more practical note, I now know where and how to get to the one market where I can find Rice Krispies and Bisquick. I know where to get fresh mangoes and how much they should cost in another currency. I know where I can buy fresh vegetables that are unlikely to be infected with “biological pathogens” and it is only 1 block from my apartment. Yes, three different markets, but I can find them – in CAMBODIA. Mercies.

5) I have made friends with my morning tuk tuk driver, and my afternoon tuk tuk driver, and they know exactly where I want to go without me saying a word. My afternoon tuk tuk driver has a little 18-month-old girl and today she wanted to see all the things in my bag – my sunglasses (peek-a-boo), my colored pen (matching happy faces on our hands). What a reminder of how beautiful and similar life is in every country. Blessings. Mercies. Please pray that she will be able to grow up and go to school and get a good job in her own country so she won’t be so vulnerable to trafficking.

6) Laughter. There is little boy laughter in my house right now. Even in Cambodia, away from all their friends. Blessings.

7) Provisions. My husband is home from work before 6:00 pm – every day! Often cooking dinner! He is present, he is inspired, he is using his gifts to stop slavery, and he is in his glory. Blessings and Mercies.

8) There is a Carl’s Jr. two blocks away that makes a good, American-style, barbecue hamburger. It’s become a Saturday night treat for the Kildays. Blessings.

9) I have been in a pit of sorrow and hormones and worry, and God has given me a way out – through and because of many of you. And I am grateful. For as little as I can contribute to His grand work toward justice in this place, I am grateful for the chance.

I have a little sign next to my mirror that I look at every morning. I picked it up in England at Shakespeare’s church in Stratford-Upon-Avon right after we found out we had made it to the second interview with IJM and were being considered for a spot in Cambodia. It says, “Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions be louder than your words.” This is my prayer for all of us.

Please keep praying. We need you.

God’s blessings and mercies we wish and pray for each of you.  I've got my game face (back) on!  Amen. 

- Thais

The Kids' Perspective

It’s one of the most common questions we get:  how are the kids doing?  Well, we are biased.  But we think they have done remarkably well.  This was not a move they wanted, nor was this a destination where they ever imagined living. There was hardship in leaving, and there has been some hardship in living here.  And certainly a lot of change.  But they have done this very well.  We are so proud of their courage, and we are amazed at the way they have jumped into a new environment, made new friends, and adapted. 

We have encouraged the writing of a kid blog.  So far, no one has jumped at that opportunity.  So we thought we would let you hear from them directly in another way, with a Q&A format.  Here is their perspective – unfiltered.  (All interviews were conducted separately.) 
 
Q:  What has been the happiest surprise about living in Cambodia so far?

Youngest:  The chocolate milk!  It tastes better than the chocolate milk in America.

Middle:  It’s a tie between two things.  At my school they believe in God.  So you speak openly about God.  Once a week we study the Bible in school.  And second, we do most of our work at school, so we barely have any homework whatsoever.      

Eldest:  The mangoes!  They are really good.  They are big, they are sweet, and . . . they are really good. 

Q:  What has been the most unhappy surprise about living in Cambodia?

Youngest:  I’m not used to it – the life, the food, and how much you have to travel on your feet. 

Middle:  In Phnom Penh, there is no green space.  Really you can’t cross the street at all because their driving patterns are entirely different.  Cars and motos, etc. weave around places.  In America, if they did even a hundredth of that, they would get in a car wreck.  So you cannot really go exercise outside. 

Eldest:  It’s really different.  You have to watch where you step.  Some of the sidewalks are covered with trash and smell bad, so you have to walk in the street.  And then you don’t want to get hit by a freaking tuk tuk, so you have to watch where you walk in the street.  Also, the money is so confusing. 

Q:  What is your school like?

Youngest:  It’s private, and it’s in English.  Sometimes at recess, some people speak in Khmer.  But everyone who goes there can speak in English.  It’s a big school.  The kids like to play gaga ball.  I play basketball or talk about Terraria (a video game). 

Middle:  It has multiple grades.  It goes up through high school, but each grade only has one or two classes.  So it is both small and big, if that makes any sense.  There are two basketball courts.  One is for the elementary school (they call it “primary,” by the way), and the other one – the bigger, better one – is for the high school and middle school.  We can only go there during P.E., if we’re playing volleyball or something.  School is 45 minutes away from our house.  It is way out in the countryside.

Eldest:  It’s a good school.  The people are nice – teachers and kids.  There are three floors, and the ceiling is red. It’s not hard to learn names because the school is pretty small. 

First day of school, Cambodia style!

Q:  What’s different about school?

Youngest:  We have to take our shoes off when we go into the classroom.  But we can wear shoes when we’re in the building but not in the classroom.  Also, we have to walk two and a half blocks to get to a bus stop, and then ride on a bus for 45 minutes to get to school.  I am the youngest kid on the bus.  Everyone else is in 5th, 6th, or in high school.  My brother is closest to me in age.  On Thursday and Friday, we have to read parts of the Bible.  We already read Ruth. 

Middle:  They don’t start “switching” classes here until sixth grade.  Back home, we started switching in second grade.  That means all day long I’m mostly with the same teacher, except for P.E. and Khmer/French class.  (Yes, we do have Khmer and French classes!)  In computer lab, instead of working on coding or playing games, we literally have an email address, and we get emailed projects that we’re supposed to do.  And the projects don’t have anything to do with computers.  We just do the projects on a computer, during computer lab.  One project was to make a paragraph on the differences between the provinces and Phnom Penh.  (Since I just got here, they let me write a paragraph about the differences between Phnom Penh and Austin.) 

Eldest:  The classes are shorter – 50 minutes instead of an hour and a half.  That means we cover more subjects each day.  There are six classes in all.  At home we had eight subjects, but we only covered four each day.  We get a 20 minute break after 2nd period, and then we get 50 minutes for lunch.  Another difference is that it’s far away.  We have to take a long bus ride to get there and back.  We usually don’t have any homework.  And they have a café. 

Q:  Tell me about where you live.

Youngest:  I live in a big white building.  It’s not as good as home.  The building is a lot bigger than our house, but the space where we actually live is a lot smaller.  Since we’re sharing the building with other people, we can’t bounce balls and things like that.  I like that the building has a game room – table tennis, pool, and foosball.  It also has the “other” kind of pool. 

Middle:  We live in an apartment.  It is rather small.  We don’t have very much space to move around.  I share a bed with my brother.  On the top floor of the building, there is a pool, a gym, and a game room.  In our apartment everything is white, with bright lights.  There is only one bathtub, but two other bathrooms with showers.

Eldest:  It’s an apartment.  It’s white and modern.  But the kitchen is red.  I have my own bathroom with a balcony.  There’s a pool and a workout room. 

Q:  What do you miss the most about Austin?

Youngest:  I miss my dog.  I also miss the space in general, because we don’t have as much space here.  I miss my friends.  And I miss my house and having a place to run around.

Middle:  I miss having a backyard where I can play soccer.  I also miss having what I’ll call “normal” food. 

Eldest:  People – my friends.  I miss Zoey.  I miss being able to walk down to Grandmommy and Granddaddy’s house.  I miss youth group.  I miss my room.  And I never thought I would say this, but I miss my school. 

Q:  What are you most excited about seeing or doing this year while you are living in Asia?

Youngest:  I don’t know.  There’s many things I’m excited about.  The top three are:  going to a beach, riding an elephant, and playing video games. 

Middle:  Going back home!  And maybe seeing the Great Wall of China if we are able to make it there. 

Eldest:  Coming back.  But while we are here, I’m excited about going to a beach. 

Q:  How can people pray for you?

Youngest:  Having the time go by quickly until I get back to Austin.

Middle:  That we have a safe trip, and that we end up changing while we are in Cambodia and growing closer to God.  You could also pray for us by praying that Mom and Dad help free people from slavery, and that we can help a lot of people while we’re here. 

Eldest:  That this year hurries up!  And that I have fun while I’m here!

Thanks to all of you for your continuing support and prayers!

A Hero in the Fight for Justice

Less than a mile away from the office where Thais and I work, there used to be a nightclub called the Martini Pub.  In the early 2000’s, horrible, unspeakable things happened in that club – and in dozens like it around Phnom Penh and other cities in Cambodia – every single day and night. 

A young man named Sek Sareoun (his given name, Sareoun, is pronounced “suh-ROON”) worked in the Martini Pub as a DJ.  He was appalled at what he saw, but he felt powerless to do anything about it. 

When IJM rolled into Phnom Penh and started quietly asking questions fifteen years ago, Sareoun sensed opportunity.  He became a trusted informant for IJM investigators, providing valuable information that led to a raid and a rescue.  Many other raids and rescues followed, including a 2006 raid covered in the U.S. by Dateline News.

Sareoun eventually became a member of IJM’s staff.  There were only a few hundred lawyers in Cambodia at that time, and IJM needed legal resources on its staff.  So, Sareoun enrolled in law school (while still working at IJM and as a DJ/informant) and then became a member of the Cambodian Bar.  Sareoun began representing victims of human trafficking and sexual exploitation in Cambodian courts, as an IJM lawyer.  He became the Director of the Legal Department for IJM-Cambodia.  Over the course of more than a dozen years, Sareoun played a role in more than 500 rescues and more than 190 convictions, with a conviction rate north of 95%.  Here is his story -- the short version first, and the longer version with his personal faith journey second:   

These convictions have brought about real change.  Cambodia is no longer a place where children are bought and sold in brothels and nightclubs with impunity.  The public justice system has changed.  The risks and penalties have changed.  And with that, the criminal behavior has changed.  Fifteen years ago, it is estimated that 15-30% of brothel workers in Cambodia were minors.  Today, that number has been reduced to around 2%, with only 0.1% of those under the age of 15. 

Yesterday Sareoun drove me around the area where the Martini Pub used to be.  The pub is no longer there.  Neither are the brothels in the adjoining neighborhoods.  In their place are pharmacies, shops, restaurants, apartments, and other buildings commonly found throughout Phnom Penh.  A miraculously transformed neighborhood, shown to me by a miraculously transformed man.

IJM-Cambodia is now focused on a different kind of case:  forced labor slavery.  Information about the work we are doing can be found here.  We are in the very early phases of this new project.  The learning curve is steep, and the issues are very complex, including cross-border issues requiring cooperation among governments and law enforcement officials from rival nations.  Let’s see what God does with this.  Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support, as IJM-Cambodia continues its work to help bring justice to all of God's children. 

For you law geeks out there who are curious about legal research and how lawyers work in Cambodia, I’ve added some legal references to the Resources page – specifically, links to Cambodia’s landmark 2008 Law on the Suppression of Human Trafficking and Sexual Exploitation, as well as the Explanatory Notes promulgated by Cambodia's Ministry of Justice.  These are the primary legal tools that we use in our work.  The changes taking place in Cambodia would not be possible without the significant contributions of leaders in the Cambodian government, who have shown courage in tackling these problems. 

- Doug

What's It Like?

We have now been in Cambodia for almost two weeks, and all is very well, all things considered.  It’s been a very big week with a whole lot of change, and I’m bursting with pride at this whole crew of Kildays.  The boys started school on Monday, and both were named “Student of the Week” on Friday.  Despite just arriving in a new continent, the eldest just came home from several days and nights away at a camp/retreat for her age group at school.  She received rave reviews from teachers and adult leaders, who have already figured out how special she is.  (How could they not?)  Thais and I officially started with IJM on Tuesday, where we have already been thrust into meaningful and impactful work, alongside some real heroes who have been on the front lines in the fight for justice for a long time.  On top of it all, yesterday our family moved from our temporary digs into the new apartment we will call “home” for the remainder of this year.  So much has changed for our family so quickly, and everyone is handling it all really well. 

So, what is it like to live here?  What is different?  What is surprising?  What is the same?  We’ll try to give you a glimpse.

1.  The weather.  It’s the dead of Winter down here, but the temps have yet to dip below the 70s.  Highs have been upper 80s and low 90s.  We have enjoyed the warmth.  We have played Marco Polo with the kids in the pool.  In January and early February.  At night.  Good times.  (But we've actually seen locals in long sleeves, sweaters, and even a scarf!)

2.  Currency.  We have been surprised to learn that U.S. dollars are accepted everywhere we have been.  At least here in the city, dollars are the main form of currency.  But there are no coins.  When you get change below one dollar, you get folding money only, in Cambodian riel.  The numbers are eye-popping at first, when you find yourself holding hundreds or even thousands of another nation’s currency.  But the excitement fades quickly.  A 100-riel note is worth just slightly more than 2 & 1/2 cents.  A 1,000-riel note is worth just over a single quarter.  Within two days, I had to pull all riel notes out of my misleadingly fattened wallet, which was starting to resemble George Castanza’s.  All riel notes now reside where pocket change used to be – in my front pocket. 

3.  Chek Kong Moan Bananas.  These guys are tiny, but they are awesome.  Sweeter than our bananas, and a bit more tangy. 

Why shouldn't bananas be the size of a human thumb? 

4.  Cost of Living.  A big unhappy surprise has been that groceries (at least grocery items we recognize) are very expensive here .  An ordinary sized box of cereal (not “family size”) runs 5 to 9 dollars.  (!)  A very small jar of spaghetti sauce is 5 bucks.  A very small jar of peanut butter is about 5 bucks.  A two liters bottle of milk is more than 4 dollars, and it’s often already spoiled the minute we get it home.  Expiration dates are meaningless.  We are regrettably having to adjust the budget, and in the wrong direction.

5.  Cost of Living, take two.  We have been delighted to find that restaurant food is typically much cheaper than at home.  Lunch is usually in the range of 3-6 dollars, with outliers above and below that.  On Friday we ate Indian food and settled our bill for $5 for both of us, including the tip.  (And it was pretty good!)  We have been told there is a noodle bowl place not far from work that sells lunch for a dollar a bowl.  We will be trying that very soon.

6.  Traffic.  Some of you have undoubtedly seen Facebook posts about this, so apologies if this is a rehash.  Except for the busiest intersections, there typically are no traffic lights or stop signs.  And people very rarely stop.  Motos, tuk tuks, cars, bicycles, and the occasional pedestrians just merge, meander, and maneuver through and around each other at intersections, and somehow this happens without anyone getting killed.   The guiding principle seems to be:  just keep moving forward, and assume no one will hit you.  I have no idea why this works.  Thais analogizes it to water rolling around rocks in a stream, or schools of fish when they encounter each other in the ocean. 

7.  Sidewalks.  They don’t exist.  There is a narrow area between storefronts and the road, but it’s not for pedestrians.  This is where everyone parks their motos.  Pedestrians have to just walk around the melee, which is usually in the street.  (Again, just keep moving forward, and assume no one will hit you.)  Here is an example of a Phnom Penh “sidewalk”:

No way to walk through these motos, so take your chances in the street.  Enjoy!

8.  Sugar.  It doesn’t come from sugar cane down here, and it is not white.  Most sugar in Cambodia comes from the sap of a palm tree and is reddish brown.  (You Longhorn fans would absolutely love this stuff.)  We have also seen banana sugar, and we look forward to giving that a try.  For now, we are serving tea with Thnot organic sugar made from the sap of the Borassus Flabellifer palm tree.  Yes, all of those are actual words here.  It’s good stuff – a bit of an earthy flavor, as though you are drinking an actual tree with your tea. 

9.  The glass door.  Here’s my most embarrassing Cambodian story so far.  In the temporary apartment that we just (mercifully) vacated yesterday, there was a glass door separating a covered, mostly enclosed porch from the kitchen.  I could not seem to get it through my thick skull that this was a door, and not an open walkway.  (No one else in the family had this problem.)  The first night in the apartment I smacked myself right into the glass door, face first, busting my lip and putting a lovely welt on my forehead.  Fun times.  (Fortunately, I don’t tend to bruise, and the welt diminished substantially by the next day.)  In some sick form of equipoise, I pulled off the same feat on our last night, nearly breaking my nose in the process.  It’s a good thing we've moved out of that place.  Otherwise, Darwin would have eventually found a more draconian fix.  

10.  Washing the produce.  All fruits & veggies here need to be washed very carefully to remove bacteria to which the locals are accustomed, but to which we most assuredly are not.  Our youngest learned this the hard way on our first day, when an apple remained in his system only very briefly before finding its way to the surface of Sihanouk Boulevard.  The grocery store sells a special wash for fruit and vegetables that kills off the bacteria without killing the flavor.  How is this product used?  Good question.  We wondered that ourselves.  Fortunately, there was a sign, written in both Khmer and English, to explain.  While we are truly grateful for the thoughtful efforts of our Cambodian friends to translate this explanation into English, the instructions puzzled us.  See if you can follow this:

See?  It's easy!  Maybe a poon of coffee!

11.  Water.  This precious resource flows from the tap, but it’s not for drinking.  All consumed water is bottled water.  We have had to adapt to brushing teeth with bottled water, cooking rice and pasta in bottled water, washing vegetables in bottled water (with maybe a poon of coffee!), keeping mouths shut in the shower, and declining ice at restaurants.  This item ranks high on the list of how we have learned we were spoiled back home.

12.  Bread.  For just less than a century, Cambodia was a French colony.  While Cambodia gained its independence in 1953, it retained the French custom of making amazing bread.  Baguettes are readily available.  I’ve had perhaps the best croissant ever, and from a very plain source (the grocery store bakery). 

Let's keep it sanitary, kids.  You can lick the bread, but please -- no hands.

That’s more than enough for now.  Enjoy your week, and enjoy the Super Bowl!  (We’ll be on our way to work Monday morning around the middle of the second quarter!)

- Doug

Let's Get to Work.

As I sit here by the pool, on a 76 degree Saturday afternoon in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, writing this message, I am struck once again by a flood of thought and emotion that can’t be processed and summarized in quick, pithy phrases. (How a US President expects to govern vastly more complex situations in 140 characters I will never understand. But that is an entirely different blog.) Here is one of the many things I’m wrestling with: So much has come together this year, but so much seems broken.

It took an astonishing confluence of hundreds of events, people, feelings and situations to bring our small family of Kildays from Austin, Texas to this pool in Cambodia. Loved ones died. Loved ones became healthy. We met and became friends with refugees, we fought for green-energy producers, we met and worked with foster children. Walls were built in our neighborhoods; walls were threatened on our borders. Muslims ate at our table and loved our family; Muslims were called our enemies. Events seemed to push us to look outward, and an unexpected opportunity appeared. Our world shifted this year so dramatically and unexpectedly, I am certain that only God could put this whole thing together. I believe there is a plan and an order.

And yet.

I am sitting here, 9-stories up from the noisy streets, by a quiet pool, with my iPad and my wifi, writing to loved ones across the world. My children are safe, healthy, and educated. We have what we need and they will be ok. That is not the story of most of the people in my new country. Children are sleeping on sidewalks. Women are preparing meals in driveways. Men are hustling all day to earn $1-$5/day to provide for their families. God’s children have vastly, vastly different experiences, and it breaks my heart. I'm sure it breaks the heart of God.

So here we are, we five small Kildays, plucked up by God and placed in one of what must be a million little God-made intersections between what seems so right and what seems horribly wrong, with a chance to see, and learn and participate in a small slice of life. What an amazing blessing and adventure. What an amazing God.

For the worriers among you, we are all fine. In fact, we are good. We are well cared for by the staff of International Justice Mission (IJM), by the staff of our temporary hotel, and by our family and supporters. We arrived after 27 hours of travel into an airport that was warm both in temperature, and in human kindness. Walking out into the night, we were immediately greeted by three enthusiastic IJM staff who brought signs, a van, smiles, and American-style snacks. (The van was especially helpful as the Kildays brought our full airline allotted 8 duffle bags, 2 trunks, 5 roller bags and 5 backpacks.) Also on our flight was the other IJM Fellow coming to work in Phnom Penh with his family of 6, and all of their luggage for the year. What a sight we must have been!

For the parents (and grandparents) among you, our kids have done ridiculously well. They slept well from the very first night, they are eating well, they have great attitudes, they have bounced around their school campus, and they have smiles on their faces 99% of the time. (OK, the boys do. The teenager has a smile on her face 70% of the time, and isn't that the same thing?!) We are so grateful, and we know that it is God, your prayers, and their beautiful spirits that are making this possible. Our eldest actually started school only 36 hours after arriving in Cambodia. She made friends the first day and walked out smiling. What a girl. The boys got to tour the school, meet their teachers, and play on their new playground this week. They start school on Monday, when big sister will be off at “secondary school camp” (think Christian youth group retreat) for 4 days. Yes, our 14-year-old is leaving home and town to go away for a 4-day camp less than one week after arriving in a new country halfway around the world from everything she knew. (Did we tell you she was brave? Did you know her Mama was that trusting?!) It’s a great school. It’s a great God. (Prayers still appreciated for camp, new school week, and this Mama!)

OK, for those of you who know Doug well, you will not be surprised to know that he is in his element. He is glowing. I think maybe I’ve caught him in a bad mood for about 45 seconds once or twice this week. (Don't even ask. I do not attempt to maintain those same lofty statistics.) We have a new adventure and he has walked (no, floated) around a new city, taking in the sights, the smells, the sounds. He is loathe to ride the tuk tuks (the local mode of transportation – a carriage pulled by a motorcycle), only because he hates to spend the $2 someone generously gave, and he loves to explore new cities on foot. (The rest of us would gladly forgo the exhaust and Frogger-like experience of walking on the street for the tuk tuk ride, so we compromise with only riding when it is 10 or more blocks or so!)

For those of you interested in our long-term self-sufficiency, we have a realtor (an expat with a lovely accent recommended by IJM, thank you) and have just put down the deposit on a 3 bedroom apartment. Yay! We will be living in the middle of the “ex-pat” neighborhood, BKK1. This means we are 2 blocks from a school bus stop, a short tuk tuk ride to work, walking distance to plenty of restaurants and coffee shops, there are sidewalks on some of the streets, and yes, multiple tuk tuks on every block. We expect to move in next weekend. We’ll have access to a pool, an exercise room, and a game room with a ping pong table. What fun! These things are good, we find, not only because it rains for 6 months of the year, but because Phnom Penh is not a very walkable, or exercisable, city by US standards. There are few sidewalks, lots of exhaust and dust, and (by US standards) lots of trash, cars, and mopeds on the street. There are few crossing walks, few traffic lights, and not much grass to speak of. (So far, only two of us have nearly been hit by a moped.)

So our small family of Kildays (and other Westerners and fortunate non-Westerners) exercise or swim, several stories above the exhaust and the trash, and look out on the colorful rooftops. We send our children to good schools where they learn to read, write, draw and care about the world. We breathe the fresh air through the open windows (the mosquitos can’t fly above the 6th story, and neither can the dust or the smell), and we are grateful. This is what we need after hours in these streets to bring equilibrium and balance back to our (relatively fragile) US minds and senses, and to prepare our children for the future. But we are also pained. Because driving around at all during the day, or reading any book, or just opening our eyes, we know this is not the experience of most everyone in this beautifully warm and friendly country. It is not the experience of most of the people in God’s beloved world.

Let’s get to work.

- Thais

Time to launch!

The day has finally come!  We depart this morning for our year serving with IJM in Cambodia.  Our flight leaves Austin at 7:00 am, and we should arrive about 27 hours later.

Through the sleep deprivation, anxiety, and uncertainty of it all, we are filled with deep gratitude:

• We are grateful for our wonderful church community, who commissioned us yesterday morning during worship. 
• We are grateful for my colleagues at the best law firm in Austin, who have celebrated and embraced this journey as part of our professional calling. 
• We are grateful for so many of our friends who have helped us in tremendous ways over the last few months.  
• We are grateful for new friends who immigrated to the U.S. from Cambodia, and who have invited us into their homes and yesterday joined us at our church to help commission us into this work in their former homeland.  (Thank you!)
• We are grateful for the IJM staff in the Cambodia field office, and we are excited to know them better and support them in the incredible work they are doing. 
•  We are grateful for all of you for being on this journey with us. 
• We are grateful for your notes and messages of encouragement. 
• We are grateful for your prayers and financial support. 
• And most of all, we are so very grateful for this unbelievable opportunity to step into a what can only be described as God's work. 

All of this is deeply humbling.  And exciting.  And terrifying.  All at the same time.  We need your prayers, encouragement, and support.  And you have delivered. 

Thank you, and God bless you!  We will check in and update our blog as we are able.

- Doug

Commissioning

“Because of your choice to join in this fight, there are people who are not going to die.”

— Gary Haugen

We spent this week with 75 other trainees in an intense, powerful, heartbreaking, and inspiring orientation at IJM headquarters in Washington, D.C.  It’s impossible to put into words all that we experienced, but here are a few nuggets:

1. IJM is doing incredible, transformational work in the world:  rescuing thousands, protecting millions, and proving that justice for the poor is possible. 

2. This organization fills us with hope.  We are so proud to be a part of it, and so grateful to have this opportunity to participate in God’s work.

3. Wonderful to be with Thais’ brother and his wife, who were terrific hosts, chefs, companions, taxi drivers, and all around great people.  I highly recommend the accommodations.  Thank you Lee and Jill!  Also great to see a good friend from Covenant Presbyterian Church who moved to D.C. a couple of years ago.  Thank you Jaco for making time for us!

4. We met people from all corners of the world who were commissioned along with us – people from the U.S., Canada, Brazil, England, Ireland, Scotland, France, The Netherlands, Zambia, Ghana, Uganda, South Africa, Kenya, Kazakhstan, India, Sri Lanka, China, Hong Kong, and Singapore.   

5. Our week of orientation included not only those heading out to serve in IJM’s 17 field offices, but also recent hires for headquarters and IJM’s partner offices.  The new CFO was training with us and the college interns all week long.

6. IJM’s founder, Gary Haugen, is a force of nature, an inspiring leader and speaker, and a modern day William Wilberforce.  He is building a global movement to stop slavery and injustice against the world’s poor.  He is so effective because he has deep credibility.  He has been there.  He goes to the hard places.  God uses him and his organization to make real change.  Check out his Ted Talk to get a taste.

7. Four billion people are living outside the protection of the law.  That means no one will intercede for them if they become a victim of violence, regardless of what the laws might say.  Laws are not helpful when they are ignored and not enforced.  But a few successful prosecutions can have a dramatic effect in changing behavior.  (If you'd like to dig deeper, IJM has published studies that are accessible on its website.) 

8. Our week culminated in a meaningful and emotional commissioning service led by Gary Haugen.  We depart a week from Monday, on Jan. 23.  Please keep us in your prayers as we go!

9. We have become dear friends with some wonderful people who are also about to uproot their families to go and serve those in need.  It has been a great source of encouragement and strength to be in touch with them over the last few months as we all prepare our families and our lives for a move and work in a distant land.  It was wonderful to spend time with them this week in D.C.  If you are so inclined, they are more than worthy of your support.  (Click here and/or here.)

10. On the plane ride home we were surprised to be with two of my law partners, the spouse of another, and the spouse of our newest associate.  It was a Graves, Dougherty reunion.  Also, I had a nice chat with the gentleman sitting next to me on the plane.  We compared notes about planning for our respective upcoming transitions in work and our upcoming moves away from Austin.  (He was recently appointed to a cabinet level post, but I can’t remember which agency – oops.)  He was gracious and kind, and we both wished each other well. 

Thank you for all of your love, encouragement, prayers, and support!  We appreciate you all!

- Doug

Thank You! (You Overachievers....)

Friends, you have blown us away with your incredible response to our $4,000 year-end matching gift challenge.  You have more than tripled what we needed in order to maximize this opportunity.  A whopping $13,155 was contributed in response to our request in the last four days of 2016.  WOW!  This brief year-end campaign, along with other generous contributions over the last two weeks, has now brought us to approximately 90% of our estimated need for our year of volunteer fellowship work with IJM.  We cannot tell you how grateful we are -- not just for your prayers and generous financial support, but for being in this with us.  We hope to represent you well.  Thank you, and God Bless you! 

More updates coming soon.  This coming week is training in Washington, D.C., and then our departure to Cambodia is Monday, January 23.  Stay tuned! 

- Doug

Year End Matching Gift!

Good news!  A generous contributor has thrown down a challenge to support our volunteer fellowship work in 2017 with the world's largest anti-slavery organization, International Justice Mission (IJM).  Every dollar contributed between now and the end of the year will be matched, dollar-for-dollar, up to $4,000.  If you have intended to contribute but have not yet done so, this is your chance to double the impact of your gift.  Please consider contributing now. 

Click on the "How to Help" page on our website, and you will find information about how to contribute toward the bottom of the page.  There are three options:  (i) a mailing address with instructions for those who prefer writing checks, (ii) a "Click Here to Give Online" button, and (iii) information about giving by text from your cell phone.  All methods send your tax-deductible dollars to the same place, which is a fund administered by Covenant Presbyterian Church for "IJM Fellowships."  We will seek reimbursement of our out-of-pocket expenses out of that fund.  Just click here to get started with your year-end gift.

Thank you so much!  We are well on our way to raising the funds we need for our year of service, and this year-end push could help close the gap and get us that much closer to meeting our need for the year.

The Light that Shines in the Darkness

Christmas Eve has always been a magical time.  As a child, it was a time of excitement and great anticipation.  (What toys will Santa bring?  What will be in my stocking?  What could be in that package?)  As an adult, it can be exhausting and even stressful, with preparation and endless "to do" lists, threatening to overshadow what the season is all about. 

But Christmas Eve always brings it home.  Always.

I grew up with a pastor who also happened to be my Dad.  There are some things that my Dad just does better than anyone else.  And one of them is Christmas Eve. 

Like most churches, ours would have a candlelight service on Christmas Eve.  Lighting the Christ candle happened at the very end of the service.  When the time came, all lighting in the sanctuary would go dark, and the room would go silent.  The only light was the warm glow of four candles on the Advent wreath.  Those four candles represent hope, peace, joy, and love.  

In this moment -- the culmination of the Christmas Eve service -- my Dad did something surprising.  He spoke of darkness.  Yes, darkness.  A whole world filled with darkness.  He described a very broken world, where broken people strayed away from God.  A world where people hurt and oppressed others.  A world of pain and suffering.  As he spoke, he began to snuff out the candles, one by one.  No hope.  No peace.  No joy.  From the last remaining candle, he would light the wick of the candle-lighter in his hands, and he snuffed out the last candle.  No love. 

Only one flame left in the room.  A room of almost complete darkness. 

The next words were about God's eternal love for us.  A love so strong that it could overwhelm all of this darkness.  A love that was embodied in the sending of God's only son, Jesus, to bring light to this dark and broken world.  With those words, the Christ candle came to life.  There was still only one flicker of light in the room, but now it was the Christ candle in the center of the Advent wreath.  Then came these poetic and beautiful opening words from the book of John (1:1-5):

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

Hearing these words and seeing the solitary glow of the Christ candle was always the moment for me.  This was when Christmas came.  A vivid representation of the light that God sent into the world.  The light that shines in the darkness.  The light so powerful that the darkness cannot overcome it. 

Then the light multiplied.  God's love and the sending of His son made love possible again.  Then joy, and then peace, and then hope.  With each word, the candles on the advent wreath again gave light.  Faces could now be seen in the sanctuary, even from far away.

Next came an illustration and a calling, from the Sermon on the Mount.  Jesus said, "You are the light of the world."  (Matthew 5:14)  And Jesus calls us to "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."  (Matthew 5:16)  With that, the light that had originated from the Christ candle was passed forward, and we were asked to watch what happens when we choose to be the light of the world.  Watch how this room fills with light as we spread the love of Christ and share the light that God brought forth into the world.  As candles sparkled through the congregation, we sang the familiar words of Silent Night and Joy to the World!

The sanctuary was now fully lit with candlepower -- and love, joy, peace, and hope.  After the last stanza of Joy to the World!, my Dad would repeat those words from the first chapter of John:  "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  He asked us to look around to room to see how much light can come from a single flame.  To see how much the light spreads and multiplies -- and how the darkness recedes -- when we choose to share the light with others all around us.  The benediction included a celebration of Christmas, but it also focused on the calling to be the light of the world.  A calling to go and take the love of Christ into this broken world, and let our lights shine.

My hope and prayer for all of us is that we not let the darkness overcome the light within each one of us.  May we each bring light into this world -- in this coming year and always.

Merry Christmas to all of you. 

-Doug

'Tis the Season

Whew!  A lot going on these days – here is the latest:

1.  We now have an official countdown to Cambodia!  We depart in 37 days, on Jan. 23, with five one-way tickets.  Our travel takes us through Detroit, Seoul, and then Phnom Penh.  It's roughly 27 hours total, with just three hours in the two connecting airports.

2.  My 22-year career at Graves, Dougherty, Hearon & Moody, P.C. goes on an extended pause as of Jan. 1.  I am grateful for the tremendous support and encouragement of my law partners as we prepare to head on this journey.

3.  Thais and I will travel to Washington, D.C. on Jan. 8 for a week of training with IJM.  We will be with many other IJM fellows who will soon be deploying to fight injustice on a volunteer basis in seventeen different locations around the world.

4.  In January we will have two weeks in Austin for packing up and cleaning the house and packing for our year abroad – one week before D.C., and another after.

5.  In perhaps the best news of the last month or so, the kids have all been admitted to attend a wonderful school in Phnom Penh -- the best and most affordable English-speaking option that was recommended to us by those in the field office where we will be working.  It’s an accredited school that was set up for missionary families, with substantial discounts for those who are serving with a Christian-based NGO.  The kids will have plenty of peers who are there for similar reasons, and the students originate from 30 different nationalities. 

6.  Our house is now on the market for lease.  If you know someone who needs to rent a great family house just 5.5 miles northwest of downtown Austin for 10-11 months starting in late January, please let us know.  Prayers appreciated for a quality tenant, and soon!

7.  Every now and then, intense preparation throws you a curveball.  A recent visit from a plumber resulted in an unwelcome discovery – rotting sub-floor boards under a hallway bathroom.  Our 1950s-era cast iron tub was on the verge of making a most untimely descent through said floor boards.  So, we now have demo work underway on a bathroom, with our house on the rental market and just days before Christmas.  Perfect timing, right?  No place like home for the holidays!  The good news is that our lucky tenants will have a newly remodeled bathroom to enjoy!

8.  Fundraising is going well so far, and we are so very grateful for your support.  We are closing in on the halfway mark for the funds we will need for our volunteer fellowship work with IJM.  Go to our "How to Help" page to make a donation -- the information is toward the bottom of the page.  Thank you so much!

9.  Thais has already gotten her shots -- Japanese encephalitis, typhoid, hepatitis, tetanus -- along with consultation about preventing malaria.  The rest of us will soon follow, once the school calendar gives way to Christmas break. 

10.  Less than two months after it launched, www.kildayfamily.com has been visited more than 2,500 times, by more than 1,800 people, and with over 5,300 page views.  (Wow!)  We are so honored to be on this journey with you.  Thank you for being with us, thank you for praying for us, and thank you for being our friends!

11. In addition to the "dialogue sermon" in late October, Thais and I have now given presentations about the fight against slavery and our fellowships with IJM to a number of different groups -- the law firm, our church, the combined children's Sunday school, and a gathering of Austin lawyers. 

12.  After weeks of planning for January while neglecting December, we finally started getting serious about Christmas yesterday.  Tonight we are looking forward to an annual Christmas tradition for our family -- Ballet Austin's production of The Nutcracker.  That should set the stage nicely for Christmas week.   

That's it for now -- we'll stop at twelve.  (And a partridge in a pear tree.)  Have a very Merry Christmas week!

- Doug

The "Austin Lawyer" - An Article and an Invitation

Calling all Austin-area lawyers!  You are invited to a lunch conversation this Friday (Dec. 16) to hear about the global fight against slavery, and how regular folks in the legal profession can get involved to help bring justice to a broken world. 

Thais and I will give a presentation about our plans to spend 2017 working in Cambodia as volunteer fellows with International Justice Mission (IJM).  Then we will answer questions: 

• How did we learn about this opportunity to serve? 
• Who is International Justice Mission (IJM)? 
• What are the requirements to participate in the IJM Fellowship Program? 
• How are we handling all of the logistics -- an active docket of cases, the law firm, our house, school for the kids, etc.? 
• Are we seeking and accepting financial support?  (Well, yes!  Link here. We are glad you asked!  Thank you!)
• Have we lost our minds?  (Possibly....)

Here are the details.  We will meet at noon this Friday, Dec. 16, at Graves, Dougherty, Hearon & Moody, P.C. -- 401 Congress Avenue, Suite 2200, Austin, Texas 78701.  Please come, and please forward this invitation along to any lawyers you know in the Austin area.  If you do plan to join us, please rsvp to me via email, so we can ensure we will have a right-sized room for the crowd.   

Finally, our dear friend Eric Behrens published a wonderful article for the local bar journal, the Austin Lawyer, about our plans for 2017.  Here is a link to the article, for anyone who may be interested.

Thank you, and we hope to see you on Friday!

-Doug

Be Careful What You Pray For

You know the phrase, “Be careful what you pray for.” Yeah. One year ago I prayed that God would use me to bring about justice. In a little over a month we are moving to Cambodia -- to live as missionaries for a year and fight against human trafficking. Seriously.

Here’s a tiny piece of the back story. Last fall I was asked to write an entry in a short Advent devotional for my church, Covenant Presbyterian Church in Austin, TX. They gave me some Bible passages and told me the topic for the week was “Justice.” Awesome! I liked justice. I liked to think I did justice pretty well. Piece of cake.

Then I read the passages. Ha.

“Woe to you who think you live on easy street in Zion, who think Mount Samaria is the good life. You assume you’re at the top of the heap, voted the number-one best place to live. Well, wake up and look around. Get off your pedestal… . You lie on beds adorned with ivory and lounge on your couches. You dine on choice lambs and fattened calves…. You drink wine by the bowlful, and use the finest lotions, but you do not grieve over the ruin of Joseph. Therefore you will be among the first to go into exile, your feasting and lounging will end.” (Amos 6:1-14, MSG).

Nice. It was like God had looked straight down into my “number-one rated city” and called me out about my VISA bill. Yes, I liked justice, but I liked my comfort more.

For the next few days, I prayed (ok, complained), and tried to think how I would write this devotional. Where were the lambs? The wise men? The star and the baby? The message about how we were all ok if we fed the hungry occasionally? Below is what I ended up with.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Justice Is On The Way
Amos 6:1-14; 2 Thess 1:5-12
by Thais Kilday

Truthfully, I’ve been struggling with creating an Advent devotional out of these passages.  When I think of Advent, I think of Christmas music, shepherds, stars, peaceful nights, messages of joy and love. “Woe to you who are complacent…and to you who feel secure” wasn’t what I had in mind. I realize with increasing discomfort that I am the one Amos writes about who lives in my highly-rated city, lounging on my couch, enjoying the luxury of fine food, wine and lotions.  I am the one whose “feasting and lounging will end.”

I read in the letter to the Thessalonians, that God is right and just, and I know that to be true.  I typically take pride in myself as an advocate for justice, but this gets more complicated when I am faced with the truth that God may not be a fan of my personal comfort and complacency. What if God’s justice isn’t just “out there” for “those people”? What if God’s coming justice means He sees and cares about my selfishness?   Thomas Jefferson once said, “I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.”  Perhaps we should all tremble.

I wonder if in this season, I can be transformed into finding joy in knowing that there is an end to all injustice, even knowing that it will require changes in me. I pray God will grow and use us to bring His justice on Earth closer to the way He orders it in heaven. Paul writes that God’s justice is on the way. Let us rejoice and be glad.

Dear mighty and merciful Father, I pray the prayer of Paul that your justice will come, and that you will make us worthy of your calling. Amen

I came upon this devotional again just a few weeks ago and I was awe struck and grateful for this glimpse of God’s handiwork in my life. I had written this message before I had ever heard of International Justice Mission (IJM). I had written it before we had applied for volunteer fellowships to go fight human trafficking, before I knew anything about Cambodia, before I updated my kids’ passports, cleaned out my house for rental, applied for international schools for the kids, or got my Typhoid vaccination. Seeing this message a year later brought a burst of confident calm into days that can be fearful. As I prayed (ok, complained) last fall, I didn’t know what was to come, but God did. And God was already at work preparing me.

God is real. God is good. God is working in our lives when we don’t even realize it. And God hates injustice.

Please stay in touch as we move into this new journey God has begun in our lives. We need your prayers and your support. And we are so eager to hear how God will use you in the fight to bring justice to your corner of the world in 2017.

- Thais

Cornerstone

We were recently interviewed for a story in Cornerstone, the quarterly publication at our church.  Here is a link to the article.   We are grateful for this unbelievable opportunity to serve, and for all of you who are on this journey with us.  Thank you, and to God be the glory!

A Momentous Day (No, Not the Election)

On this day 14 years ago, a beautiful girl was born in Saratov, Russia.  She was small, but she had an unmistakable sparkle in her eye.  She was given a beautiful name that was inspired by an opera.  The name had a striking resemblance to the Russian word for “hope.” 

On the same day, more than 6,000 miles away, a couple in Austin, Texas made an important decision.  They wrote an email message to their adoption agency case worker: 

“It has been about 2 years since we first contacted you about adopting, but after some long periods of inactivity, we are finally ready to go.  We had completed all of our paperwork except the homestudy by about a year ago.  We waited though, to be absolutely sure we were ready to make all the life changes.  Now, finally, we are ready.”

Fast forward to seven months later.  The couple was leaving on a journey of a lifetime to the other side the world.  This particular journey would make them parents – exciting, terrifying, joyful, unsettling stuff.  A final task before departure was to sort through a stack of papers to identify the few that would accompany them on their journey. 

The content of the email was familiar, but the date popped off the page.  November 8, 2002.  This was the day, they now knew, when their soon-to-be daughter had been born.  And this was also the very day when they had decided they were finally ready to go.  The day when they became absolutely sure they were ready to make all the life changes. 

All anxiety faded away.  God’s got this – and has had it all along. 

So today we celebrate.  We celebrate a birthday and an amazing young woman that God has entrusted into our care.  We also celebrate the miraculous gift of our family.  We celebrate a mother and a daughter living together in Texas, both named for an opera, and both with a sparkle in their eye.

As we look ahead to a new journey, we remember that God has been faithful.  Our prayers are not always answered as we imagine, or in our timing.  But we have seen with our own eyes that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”  (Ephesians 3:20.)  God is faithful.  And God is good.

Happy Birthday to our very favorite 14-year-old! 

-Doug

A Foot in Both Worlds

Fall is always a wonderfully busy season.  It’s a time for returning to routines and familiar rhythms.  The drudgery of the alarm clock is counter-balanced by the joy of cheerleading, soccer games, and Cub Scout camping trips.  Halloween costumes and gourds quickly make way for turkeys and family gatherings.  Then it all builds to a crescendo of celebration at Christmas.  It is always this way.  The pace can be breathtaking, even exhausting.  But we love it.  Every time. 

It’s safe to say that this particular Fall has been unique.  We have received new and unexpected visitors onto our crowded calendars.  Passport renewal applications.  Closets to clean.  House projects.  Boxes to pack.  School applications and placement tests – for a school on the other side of the world.  And perhaps even more shocking, a new website. 

We are increasingly living in two worlds.  Both demand full attention.  When it starts to seem like more than we can handle (and it does!), we remind ourselves how we got here.  And why we are doing this.  And who we are serving.  We are so grateful we don’t have to rely on ourselves for the strength to stay on track or the peace to keep ourselves together.  

Thanks to so many of you who have helped us, in big and small ways.  And thanks to all of you for your prayers!  For now, please pray for resilience, productivity, and peace as we focus on the present while also planning for the future.  Thank you all! 

- Doug

Thy Kingdom Come...

For the first known blog post in recorded Kilday history, we are sharing the story – what has motivated us to spend 2017 working with International Justice Mission in Cambodia, how we came to this decision, our hopes as we look ahead to next year and beyond, and how this fits with living out "Kingdom values." Many thanks to Thomas Daniel for allowing us to be part of last week’s “dialogue sermon,” and to Whitney Milam for the excellent work making and editing the video. (Unfortunately, Whitney was unable to either put more hair on my head, or make it any less gray.) Thanks as well to all of our dear friends at Covenant Presbyterian Church and elsewhere, for your love and support in this journey. 

Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven!

- Doug

October 23, 2016 Covenant Presbyterian Church Austin, Texas